Sunday, April 9, 2017

Election Selection

This week we had student elections and let me tell you, some speeches were quite amusing. The student elections at my particular high school vary from those at other high schools in the regard that whereas many student elections are pretty serious, the election we just had was overflowing with self-deprecating jokes and humor. Consequently, the candidates elected at my high school aren't necessarily the most qualified or experienced, but the funniest (and perhaps strangest). As I mentioned, I guess it's a new electoral strategy or something to emphasize any unappealing personality or physical qualities while neglecting to highlight any redeemable traits.

Image result for dumboFor example, the only speech I remember from last year was one in which some kid explained to the audience that because he had the biggest ears around, and I quote, "we're talking bigger than Dumbo's ears, as in, [I] can fly with these ears", he should be elected for some offhand student government position. And I guess in the end it worked because a year later I remember it. And on top of that, although that comment threw me off during my decision-making last year, I ended up voting not for the candidate, (but for the candidate's ears), and apparently so did everyone else, because he won and that was it.

The Voting Process:
So my school is obsessed with being "tech savvy," so rather than just printing off ballots and having us fill them out, we were all sent a Google Form to complete. Now I have the easiest time remembering names, but since the majority of human beings do not, there was some conflict with this voting process when no pictures were included of the candidates last year, just plain black and white names. (They weren't even bold.) Fortunately, this year it had been decided that pictures would be included with the names so that lack of remembrance wouldn't be an issue. Again.

My Experience:
Now to my experience running for student government. I was in sixth grade and I was so excited to be Secretary. (And since I was the only candidate running I won.) But it required a whole lot of work and effort not only to get elected, but to be Secretary. I had to type out weekly minutes (which mind you, no one except me read.) And although I certainly enjoyed my time as tyrant, after my year of being Secretary, my political conquest had been abruptly cut short when I ran for Vice President in seventh grade and lost. And even though practically everyone was certain I'd win, I didn't. (I attribute that loss not to the fact that I was less popular, (okay maybe I was), but I mainly attribute it to the fact that for my speech I read off an acrostic I wrote which spelled out Vice President. Which in the end amounted to too much speaking. So there you go.)

On top of that, my dad had guessed that my speech was far too long, suggesting that I instead spell out just "Vice Prez." But being the adamant child I was, I opted to spell out the entire word and suffer the disappointment of losing. Well I know now that if I ever decide to run for "Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives" not to spell out the word for my speech.

Consequently, with my political career over before I had even gotten to high school, I had to cross "Become President of the United States" off of my bucket list. No worries. I'll settle for being governor. Or mayor. Whichever comes first.